Sabado, Marso 30, 2019

I'M BROKEN

I remember getting into a van with one of our common friends who I wasn't surprised knew about what situation I'm in (Because I can't use the term "about us"). She said: "MATAAS ANG STANDARD NUN!!" --Sorry if I didn't make the cut! I'm not handsome, not fit, not rich, not a kind person, maybe not even as Faithful as you would want. Super bait, super faithful, rich, handsome & fit ba ang BF mo? Some of our friends even said they think you don't have one. The BF excuse is just for me to stop bugging you.

She even added, "Bossy sya, bossy ka, magwo-work ba yun?" I remember answering: "Kung nagpapasakop sya, magpapakumbaba yun. Aayusin ng Dios ang kailangang maayos, as long as the two of "us" work it out. --Sorry, it seems now that we're not compatible. Apparently, there's no mutual love to begin with!

Pasensya na talaga, pero sa tingin ko i
ba talaga ang nagagawa ng improvement sa physical appearance. Hindi mo lang napapansin yun, pero nagbago ka. Yumabang ka na. It's good to quote Bible verses, but you're still a bit of a sarcastic bitch, especially to me. Tsk, tsk, tsk... Always when we get to "talk" again. Some women get flattered when they have admirers, but you... you're something else! Or maybe I'm plainly not good enough for you, that's why I get that treatment. Even one of our friends noticed how you deflected me at Army Navy. I loved the memories of that day; now the latter parts are just knives for my skull.

I wonder now why I fell for you in the first place. I looked beyond the facade. You hurt me so many times. I thought it was always just not time yet. I kept hanging on false hope. You broke me.

But then again, I said that "Wala tayong karapatang magalit kung hindi tayo gusto nung taong gusto natin." The fingers will always point back at me. I still struggle with this statement. Umasa ako kasi may naramdaman akong kakaiba sa yo, naramdaman kong mayroon talagang namamagitan sa ating dalawa, na ayaw mo lang aminin. Pero katulad nga ng ipinamukha mo sa akin, MALI NA NGA AKO. The almost ten years that I was attracted to you and admired you are for nothing.

I feel na parang naging unfair ka sa akin. Ang selfish mo, inisip mo lang yung SPBB mo. Pano naman yung SPBB ko? Sobrang sakit nitong ginawa mo sa akin ngayon. Hindi ba wala na tayong communication for 3 years? Nananahimik na ako sa isang tabi. Your timing sucks! Sana last week pa right after THAT Topic... para nagkaron naman ako ng time to digest and adjust to your Nth rejection. You are hostile when it comes to this --you really like shoving it to my face!! Ang sakit talaga... you only make it sound polite on your end. And to think that I dreamt of you last night, only to wake up to your message. Exactly the opposite of what the dream was.

Every time I make my move, you "charge at me full speed and slap me in my face to stop me". THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE EVERY SINGLE TIME! I become dumbfounded and "head back to the drawing board" and figure if it needs to be delayed a little more. Then the vicious process repeats itself all over again.

I hope this all goes away immediately.

Congratulations... you win! Be happier now.

This Sunday was awful! 😭

Huwebes, Marso 14, 2019

My Week's Dozen Angry Songs

I love this band. Or at least the songs in their albums during my college years anyway. They have been my playlist for five days now. It’s very seldom that my Last Song Syndrome is not just one song. HAHAHA!!! But I’m not a supporter of communism, socialism, fascism or any of those bullshit activist mentalities. I simply think RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE is bad-ass awesome, as rock “misfits”. At the time of their rise to fame, people found it hard to define their music: rap metal, alternative metal, (new) punk rock. Quite frankly, I never thought I would dig their music at first. It took me a while.

Observe the audience during this opening piece from their 2010 concert in London: the mosh pit jumping in unison with the band and shouting the lyrics; that may very well be a major envy of any up-and-coming rock artist. It is known and accepted that the genre has hardcore fans who can be this obsessed in live performances. Or maybe they were just too ecstatic to see RATM reunited, playing together live again after a few years in hiatus. It’s like an ocean of people splashing high waves. Just imagine how it would have felt near the stage… literally ground-shaking for sure! Some famous bands have to endure water bottles being hurled at them, even shoes, especially in open-air arenas. However it fully transpired, this show kicked ass through and through.

This is one of my most favorite tunes. Tom Morello is a guitar virtuoso when it comes to riffs and effects while Zack Dela Rocha’s voice is as aggressive as ever and full of angst, a blended sound unique to the industry. It’s a shame they’re no longer around, collectively. I think Morello’s playing perfectly complemented Dela Rocha’s vocals. Oh well. L
(I DO NOT OWN THE VIDEO)