Martes, Abril 27, 2021

I miss this...

 

(I DO NOT OWN THE VIDEO)

TAWANG-TAWA TALAGA AKO SA VIDEO NA 'TO!! 😝🤣 Makes you want to really agree with it. I miss designing spaces... rooms, offices, homes, whole buildings. I enjoyed the "self-brainstorming" and execution of ideas (kahit na kapag pina-check ko na sa prof ay may mali pala), pero may magsasabi sa plates (projects) ko na, "Oo nga 'no?" o kaya "Wow, ang ganda!" na ang sarap-sarap pakinggan. Pumapalakpak ang mga tenga. HAHAHA!!!

I don't regret not being a freelance Architect by profession. Baka tamarin lang kasi ako lagi kung walang "push". 😅😂 Pipilitin ko lang madalas ang sarili ko. And I think I'm actually more accustomed to "routine". At saka literally, nakakabaliw. Ang sakit sa ulo, magkaka-ideas lang kapag tulog na ang lahat (minimum 1:00 AM yun) tapos mababawasan na kapag sumikat na ang araw. Kailangan ko ng ultimate silence (except for my personal music kapag sumobra naman) para tuluy-tuloy ang flow ng ideas and motivation. Duon ko minahal ang NU107, nung time na sleepless-nights-because-of-plates. Madalas walang tulog, palaging zombie mode, tapos kapag naka-"idlip" in the middle of a project, as in straight 10 to 12 hours babawi yung katawan ko. I just couldn't take that kind of "self-abuse". There came a point when I regret taking the course BS Architecture. 'BS' talaga. HAHAHAHA!!!!

Hindi ako nasanay sa AutoCAD software dahil medyo nalihis na ako ng career, so manual technical drafting at freehand drawing lang talaga ang kaya ko ngayon. Hindi rin ako magaling sa rendering ng color at textures. I failed the licensure exams 3 times for almost 3 consecutive years, kahit na nag-review school pa ako, so I think "not meant to be" talaga. I would have just dragged myself to embody the "forced creativity" that came with the license. Even now, I am forcing myself when I bought alcohol-based markers for doodling. The 80-piece set still sits undisturbed inside my mobile pedestal in the office.

Designing as an architect-only in the Philippines may not be that profitable, maybe even unfulfilling. Some of my classmates in college who are now practicing architects are also contractors, meaning: they design and build. That is a more viable and sustainable career here. Some have weekend gigs. Architect/photographer, architect/musician-- weekday designers with weekend occupations on the side. I'm happy for those who were excellent designers as students now get to see their creations come to life (some just partially, because company architects' final output is blended with their fellow architects' ideas).

I was able to design a two-storey residence when I became unemployed for a few months, but I never got to see it built. God just gave me the opportunity to have income while still applying for a new job. 🙏💗😊 The project was very hard for me because I experienced the full essence of the design process, negotiating with engineers for their signatures for my blueprints. Although it was quite fulfilling in the end. Quite. But I think I could not have maintained that kind of life on a normal basis. Talk to client--draw (trial and error)--talk to engineer--draw (according to specifications)--process the building permit. I undervalued my work when it came to the fee, because I was desperately in need. It is true that designers and illustrators, whatever kind, shouldn't succumb to haggling down the monetary value of their work.

I regret buying a larger drafting table, bigger than the one I used in college, only to neglect it and watch it deteriorate over a couple of years.

I just miss the craft in general. I need a (new) hobby. 🤣

Smashing Pumpkins - Landslide (Remastered)

Still the best version of this song.


"LANDSLIDE" (Smashing Pumpkins version)

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in a snow covered hill
'Til a landslide brought it down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Oohh...

Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I've
Built my life around you
Time makes you bolder, even children get older
I'm getting older too


Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I've
Built my life around you
Time makes you bolder, even children get older
And I'm getting older too
I'm getting older too

Oohh, took my love, and took it down
Oohh, climbed a mountain I turned around
And if you see my reflection in a snow covered hill
The landslide brought it down
The landslide brought it down

Oohh...
Oohh...
Oohh.

Huwebes, Abril 22, 2021

IKAW PA RIN By Ted Ito w/ Lyrics

It would be nice to be able to go to the Beach this summer. But covid is a bitch! 😖

This is not a karaoke version. This is the song's actual audio! I'm not sure if the "real" original was performed by Hideaki Tokunaga, but another version was made by Keempee De Leon. HAHAHA... I just love the melody and (different version) lyrics.

Classic love songs: Cheesy but relatable. 🙃💗

Lunes, Abril 19, 2021

Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way (Lyrics)

Current LSS. Sorry na ulit... ✌😅🤣

(I DO NOT OWN THE MUSIC VIDEO)

I hope it won't be too late. 🙏💗

Sabado, Abril 17, 2021

"Swing"

It looked like a “reddish” or ”brownish” corner lot townhouse (or maybe a duplex?), because you had a lawn around your home: front, side and back. Your unit was attached to another by a firewall, but the extent of adjacent unit/s was blurred to my vision, so I don’t know how far it went on. The window of your room which faced the frontage had large blinds. There was a swing just outside the room (still within the fence) where I sat playfully. You were dressing up; your mother was at the door and the rest of the family was playing a board game in your living room. For some reason, I was wearing formal clothes— typical long sleeves, slacks & leather shoes.

“Wait for me?”, you asked with an intonation. “Yes”, I responded looking at the window while still sitting on the swing. “Hey, no peeping!”, your mother exclaimed at me as I answered your question. The three of us laughed. 😅😂🤣

I stared blankly at the grass… but I knew I was happy. I felt it.

You peeked through your own blinds and called me by name: “Jase… wait for me?” Same inquiry but with higher inflection and this time in a louder tone. This is the first time in a long time that someone called my name in a dream. I replied with, “Yes, I miss you… so much.”

There were other things that happened but I can no longer remember them. And that was it.

___

I am quite amused that your mom always appears with you now in my sleep. She’s “added protection and support”, because however strong I perceive you to be, you are still somewhat fragile. 🤗

I don’t know why I have this hope… I feel I shouldn’t give up on you just yet. Although I might still be wrong. I’m aware that you may very well be committed already, but it seems that the hints of our Minister appear stronger for me. ✌😅 NO OFFENSE… I’m sorry, but this is what I actually feel. No disrespect, though. I just don’t want 'him' to use you. Again, I hope you are not “blinded”. This was also another hint of our Minister: “Ikaw naman… niligawan ka lang, sinagot mo naman kaagad!” I remember these things like they were yesterday; I also have photographic memory. BUT for all I know, plantsado niyo na ang lahat. November will later approach. I’ll cross the bridge when I get there. God will either lead us on or pull us back as He pleases; He knows what’s best for us.


Whatever the case is, I am always here. Take care of yourself. 💗

Ingatan nawa. May God bless us all the remaining days of our life. 🙏