I don't trust my feelings anymore. Experience taught me that.

Ang galing talaga ng GMK, kahapon ko pa naiisip ito, naunahan pa rin ako mag-post. Hehehe...

(Why Can't We) Stay Like This Forever

I was channel surfing last night just before sleeping when I stumbled upon an Indonesian film ("Love Reborn") playing this song over and over as background music. I got curious because the tune reminded me of the feeling from a happy morning almost a week ago. Listening closely, I can relate to the light-hearted lyrics. New LSS. <3

We dream of reciprocity. Simple joys.

AN LSS FROM A FAVORITE GENRE

I simply love the science fiction genre, specifically outer space suspense/horror and post-apocalyptic scenarios. My favorite movies of this genre: The “Alien” saga— very entertaining from the very beginning, prequels are superb; “Europa Report”— interesting ‘found footage’ format; “Cloverfield” saga— weird but okay; “Life”— very good but very disturbing; “Sunshine” and “Pandorum” are way up in my list for story, acting and visual effects.

And then there are short films. The Netflix animated “series” Love, Death + Robots is definitely not family-friendly. The way each stand-alone “episode” is done is very unconventional because of the foul language, intense violence and uncensored nudity/sex. “Beyond The Aquila Rift” instantly became my favorite. The plot is quite similar to an old episode of Twilight Zone’s “Monsters” back in the late 80s. The end is truly terrifying. This song is part of the series soundtrack: the main theme of that particular episode. The tune has been recurring in my mind ever since I heard it as background music for the show. A new LSS.

(I DO NOT OWN THE VIDEO)

‘LIVING IN THE SHADOWS’ by Matthew Perryman Jones

Smoke is clearing out, all the circling lights... blind me
I've been running out, now it's all just a fight... to breathe
I gave it all… yeah, I gave everything

I will never break the silence
When I look inside, I don't have to hide
If you're looking, you won't find it
Who's the enemy?
Don't know what to believe

Living in the shadows
Living in the shadows

Light is breaking through the dark that is underneath
I know the truth, but for you it's just out of reach
You took it all… yeah, you took everything

I will never break the silence
When I look inside, I don't have to hide
If you're looking, you won't find it
Who's the enemy?
Don't know what to believe

Living in the shadows
Living in the shadows
(Shadows, shadows)

I will never break the silence
Who's the enemy?
Don't know what to believe

Living in the shadows
Living in the shadows
Living in the shadows

Living in the shadows

Living in the shadows…

'Thank you' for failing me...

(from Typewriters Voice)

Life is neither perfect, nor convenient.

Misled myself for far too long! I’m learning to accept that mistake now. Still mending wounds, though... I tell you, things could have been worse.

Am currently deconstructing where I went wrong, optimistically to correct at the soonest, but taking my time anyway. HAHAHA!!!

Realized there are things we can live without, or deter at the moment.

Certain people may not be comfortable around me anymore; I’m slowly learning to live with that, too.

At the very least, I’ve been true to myself. Able to have said what I always wanted to say in the distant past, whether they believed it or not— tried again and again, even just in words: actions halted every time; expressed (although somewhat hidden) regret/frustration/sadness/loneliness/even anger, for the “failure” itself. Now hopefully starting to recover for good.

All things considered, (surprisingly,) I’m somehow quite happy. And somehow… at peace.

How?

How does one let go
after holding on 
for so long,
when apparently there was nothing
from the very beginning...?

HAHAHA!!! Sounds too cheesy and corny!
How can one let go, if there was nothing to hold on to in the first place?!

The Amazing Spiderman - "Without You" by Breaking Benjamin

My current LSS for seven days now. This day last week, this was the only song in my playlist. It's crazy.

The Amazing Spider-Man is one of my favorite Spider-Man movies. Andrew Garfield's version of the webslinger is the darkest among the latest three (Tobey Maguire and Tom Holland) and I feel it's the most dramatic. Really heavy. I think this song suits the movie. I don't know if it's included in the original soundtrack, though.



"WITHOUT YOU" by Breaking Benjamin

Search for the answers I knew all along
I lost myself
We all fall down
Never the wiser of what I've become
Alone I stand
A broken man

All I have is one last chance
I won't turn my back on you
Take my hand
Drag me down
If you fall, then I will too
And I can't save what's left of you

Sing something new
I have nothing left
I can't face the dark without you
There's nothing left to lose
The fight never ends
I can't face the dark without you

Swallow me under and pull me apart
I understand there's nothing left
Pain so familiar and close to the heart
No more no less, I won't forget
Come back down, save yourself
I can't find my way to you
And I can't bear to face the truth

Sing something new
I have nothing left
I can't face the dark without you
There's nothing left to lose
The fight never ends
I can't face the dark without you

I wanted to forgive
I'm trying to forget
Don't leave me here again
I am with you forever... the end!

Sing something new
I have nothing left
I can't face the dark without you
There's nothing left to lose
The fight never ends
I can't face the dark without you

Holding the hand that holds me down,
I forgive you... forget you... the end!

Holding the hand that holds me down...

I forgive you,

Forget you,

The end!

Dido - Thank You (Acoustic)

Thank You for giving me one of the best lessons in life...