WE'RE NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH

It's not that they don't care. It's just that we're not important enough.

The words kept echoing inside my head. I felt miserable. Some really never gave a shit, even after seeing each other again face-to-face, knowing I was hospitalized. I feel that I take offense because of this. There was a lingering feeling of extreme vulnerability from then on. And it now persists. --The small, harsh realities of life.

It's really disappointing when you expect, even just a little, from those whom you consider "close". At times it's better to become numb. I guess we "were once close" now or "were never close at all", or maybe I was just mistaken yet again. I know we don't have to say everything that's NEEDED to be said; but sometimes we WANT to hear the soothing words of moral support. It comforts us. Apparently that isn't important anymore. People just don't know me. I might just be that difficult a person: difficult to understand, difficult to be with. Some may even be happier without me in the picture! Indeed, I will someday die alone. I'm a social outcast, after all. I am not, and never was, good at making the "F" word; but I know better now which ones are true.

However unlikely, there was a time when I wanted to die during my confinement. But here I am....