"WASTED TIME"

I injured myself again. I truly am clumsy and accident-prone, like I was told since I was a child. This is what I get for prioritizing other things, including myself, over the more important matters in life. I immediately realized that after I noticed the blood surge out. A couple of my clothes were “marooned” yet again. I may need to have surgery for this, but only minor. I’m in pain, although the surgery can still wait. Because it is, itself, not a priority. And I feel I deserve it. The “repair” that needs to be done appears to be purely aesthetic, anyway. No broken bones, I am mobile like normal and I am able to clean it regularly. The damage can be easily hidden. This will lead to another physical deformity almost certainly. That’s life.

It helps when one thinks that “It could have been worse”, especially when I think about how it would have turned out if I fell another way. I’m still grateful, and I’m thankful I am thinking of it this way now. Somewhere in between the lines, I know A Higher Power continues to discipline me. I guess that’s one way to be happy: to think right away of being not in a more regrettable situation if you feel you’re in “unfortunate” circumstances already.

This tune strongly reminds me of that. One of my most favorite songs since high school. Heavy. The title itself makes you want to think, “What am I doing with my life now?”

‘WASTED TIME’ by Skid Row

You and I

Together in our lives

Sacred times would never fray

Then why can’t I

Let myself tell lies

And watch you die everyday?

I think back to the times

When dreams were what mattered

Tough talking youth naiveté

You said you’d never let me down

But the horse stampedes and rages

In the name of desperation

Is it all

Just wasted time?

Can you look at yourself when you think of what

You’ve left behind?

Is it all

Just wasted time?

Can you live with yourself when you think of what

You’ve left behind?

Oooohhhh.....

Paranoid delusions, they haunt you

Where’s my friend I used to know?

He’s all alone, he’s buried deep within a carcass

Searching for a soul

Can you feel me inside your heart as it’s bleeding?

Why can’t you believe you can be loved?

Oh, I hear you scream in agony

And the horse stampedes and rages

In the name of desperation

Is it all

Just wasted time?

Can you look at yourself when you think of what

You’ve left behind?

Is it all

Just wasted time?

Can you live with yourself when you think of what

You’ve left behind?

Yeah... Ooooohhhhh....

Ooohhh... You said you’d never let me down

But the horse stampedes, it rages

In the name of desperation

Is it all

Just wasted time?

Can you look at yourself when you think of what

You’ve left behind?

Is it all

Just wasted time?

Can you live with yourself when you think of what

You’ve left behind?

The sun will rise again

The earth will turn to sand

Creation’s colors seem to fade to gray

You’ll see the sickly hands of time

Will write your final rhyme

And end a memory.... aahh, yeah....

I never thought you’d let it get this far, boy...

Oohh... I never thought, I never thought you’d let it get this far, boy... oh, no

I never thought, I never thought you’d let it get this far, boy... no

I never thought you’d let it get this far, boy....