your Voice

I didn’t pay attention to a friend’s request to like, subscribe and share a new channel he’s supporting. This teaches me to always check first.

I’m so proud of you!!! (Even though I have no right to be.) After a very long time, I heard your voice again. 🥳 Only, not in a live-in-person sense. At least to some extent, one of my wishes is granted. I knew you were going to eventually take this type of endeavor, given your talent & attributes. I’m very impressed. The videos look clean & crisp and the voice over sounds so nice & cute. 🙃😅 I think it would be very unfeasible if you did this all by yourself. You did say, “Help us grow ‘OUR’ channel by liking and sharing ‘OUR’ videos.” It makes me think, though, who your business “partner” in this venture is. Does the ‘2’ in the channel name refer to the ‘2’ of you? Maybe you 2 DO make a good “team”! He's a video editor in our broadcast network, after all.

His given name even sounds like my surname, only spelled with a one letter difference. Yes, I know who he is. I have sources. I’ve seen him in person and observed him up close when I was in the adventure camp last December. I don’t know if he noticed or if he is even aware of me. I’ve also seen him as the main character in one episode of our drama series. He has a receding hairline, a very toned & masculine physique, but has a seemingly effeminate aura— I’M REALLY SORRY, maybe it’s the jealousy speaking, I’m just being honest about my opinion.

But who am I to judge? Surely, you know better. Friends say you even post pictures of him now in social media. I’m glad I don’t see it… because I’ll actually get so jealous!!! I always think: “Why would someone do an elaborate story and back it up, just to repel suitors? Why fool people? That would be absurd and exhausting!!” One could only wish to maintain a number of friends who are in on it for a limited amount of time, if ever there really is such an “act”. So maybe, you truly are in love with him. I’m just worried that you’re blinded and he’s only using you to prove something and “validate” himself; and I can’t get that out of my mind! I want you to be happy. Heterosexual women who marry queer men suffer in the end. But he seems to be a nice guy, at least he's that. Anyway, the hints of our Minister are simply stronger. HAHAHA… again, I’m really sorry!!! ✌😂

I wanted to subscribe, but what is one person? My subscription won’t matter by the time you’ll have reached thousands of subscribers. (I do hope you reach thousands and thousands, as many as you can.) I didn't like or share, you might see my name and just get upset. You said you weren't comfortable being friends with me. As long as you still don’t express that you’ll accept me if I follow you again, even if it’s just in social media, I won’t bother anymore. I want you to have that peace. You may have already seen, in whatever control settings the system has, that I’ve watched the videos. (Un)Fortunately, I could not erase my contributions to the “views” count. I’m slowly learning to dissect my mixed emotions about this.

I really don’t know why I have this “blind” faith and hope in you. The ‘faith’ and ‘hope’ are there, but the “you”— not so confident about that. Maybe it’s just “Faith and Hope”, in general. The warm, fuzzy feeling still manifests itself when I think of you, there is a constant concern for your betterment and a desire to be with you for the rest of my life persists. I have never felt anything quite as enduring and as intense for any lady who has ever crossed my life! I don’t tell many people about this... I strive hard to maintain a quiet composure, if there is any form of composure in me at all. Regarding my continuity for this kind of affection for you, I guess we’ll know by November… if your marriage plans with him shall push through or not.

So grow. Flourish. And as I’ve said many times before, be happier… you’re beautiful the way you are, with or without somebody right next to you. May God keep you and continue to bless you. However things are, I LOVE YOU. That remains. 🙏💗😊