I can’t say
I’ve never “begged” this way. I did so before.
Let’s just say
I’m more accepting (of rejection) these days.
I can’t say I’ve
never been a quitter. I’ve been so in the past.
Let’s just say
I’m more positive (and realistic) these days.
I can’t say
I’ve never loved someone before. I've done so. For the longest time.
Let’s just say
I’m more contented (but hopeful) these days.
I once wrote
that “in the strictest sense, life can never be perfect”. We can’t expect much
from people when we know that there are more important matters than ourselves. Let’s
be happy in others’ happiness. Old as I am, I’m just starting to learn that. Let’s
have faith that we will know what to do when the time comes. ^_^ <3
Still in X Japan mode… I fell in love with their music all
over again. In this tune, Toshi dishes out killer vocal melodies, although in
short bursts only. Very powerful! I don’t know of any other musical group who
made a literal “last song” just before their band’s breakup. Even in their
“Last Live” concert performance; this was their final piece together with their
original lead guitarist, Hide, who died just four months later. Their
combination in terms of musicality is so effective that they eventually reunited
a decade later, with a slightly different lineup. I grew fonder of their music
now that I understand all of what they’re singing. Seeing the translation of Toshi’s
part of the lyrics made me really sad, though. It pierces me to the bone.
“THE LAST SONG” by X JAPAN
(*Watching
the stars till they're gone, Like an actor all alone, Who never knew the story he was in, Who never knew the story ends. Like the sky reflecting my heart, All the colors become visible. When the morning begins... I'll read the last
line.*)
終わらない雨 抱きしめた
Owaranai ame dakishimeta 夜が朝を迎える
Yoru ga asa wo mukaeru 心はまだ濡れたまま…
Kokoro wa mada nureta mama
(*In
endless rain, I've been walking Like a poet feeling pain, Trying to find the answers, Trying to hide the tears. But it was just a circle that never ends. When the rain stops, I'll turn the page, The page of the first chapter.*)
傷つくだけ 傷ついて
Kizutsuku dake kizutsuite 解ったはずの答えを
Wakatta hazu no kotae wo どうしてまだ 問いかけてる?
Doushite mada toikaketeru?
(*Am I
wrong to be hurt? Am I wrong to feel pain? Am I wrong to be in the rain? Am I wrong to wish the night won't end? Am I wrong to cry? But I know it's not wrong to sing the last song, ‘Cause forever fades.*)
気がつけば また独り
Ki ga tsukeba mata hitori 夜の空を見つめてる
Yoru no sora wo mitsumeteru 少しづつ消えて行く
Sukoshi zutsu kiete yuku
Our Memories...
傷つくだけ 傷ついて
Kizutsuku dake kizutsuite 解ったはずの答えを
Wakatta hazu no kotae wo どうしてまだ 問いかけてる?
Doushite mada toikaketeru?
(*I see
red... I see blue... But the silver lining gradually takes over. When the morning begins... I'll be in the next
chapter.*)
終わらない雨 抱きしめた
Owaranai ame dakishimeta 夜が朝を向かえる
Yoru ga asa wo mukaeru 心はまだ濡れたまま
Kokoro wa mada nureta mama 傷つくだけ 傷ついて
Kizutsuku dake kizutsuite 解ったはずの答えを
Wakatta hazu no kotae wo どうしてまだ 問いかけてる?
Doushite mada toikaketeru?
____
IF in case someday I get to have a good funeral, I want this to be in the
soundtrack of my life’s audio-visual presentation! Hehehehe….
“The ‘Romanization’ of Japaneseis
the application of theLatin scriptto write theJapanese
language.This method of writing is sometimes
referred to in English asrōmaji(ローマ字?, literally, "Roman letters")(Japanese pronunciation:[ɽóːmadʑi]… Rōmaji
may be
used in any context where Japanese text is targeted at non-Japanese speakers
who cannot read Kanji or Kana…” –from Wikipedia
Still in X Japan mode… (some of the
lyrics actually sound macabre, especially when translated in full)
“SAY ANYTHING” by X JAPAN (in Kanji, Romaji and English lyrics)
騒めきだけが 心を刺して
Zawameki dake ga kokoro wo sashite 聞こえない 胸の吐息
Kikoenai mune no toiki 時を忘れて 求め彷徨う
Toki wo wasurete motome samayou 高鳴る想い 濡らして
Takanaru omoi nurashite
Run away from reality, I've been crying in a dream 凍りついた時間に震えて
Kooritsuita toki ni furuete 歪んで見えない 記憶重ねる
Igan de mienai kioku kasaneru 悲しみが 消えるまで
Kanashimi ga kieru made
You say anything,
傷つけ合う言葉でも
Kizutsuke au kotoba de mo
Say anything,
断ち切れない心に
Tachikirenai kokoro ni
You say anything, just tell me all your sweet lies
Say anything,
演じきれない心に
Enjikirenai kokoro ni
If I can’t go back to where I have been 夢の中にだけ生きて
Yume no naka ni dake ikite 終わらない雨に濡れる
Owaranai ame ni nureru 流れる涙を白日夢に染めて
Nagareru namida wo hakujitsu yume ni somete
You say anything, whatever you like to say to me
Say anything, you leave me out of my eyes
You say anything, all I can hear is voice from dream
Say anything, you can dry my every tear
灯りの消えた
Akari no kieta On the stage
1人見つめて
Hitori mitsumete 通り過ぎた日々に抱かれる
Toorisugita hibi ni hadakareru 壊してくれ 何もかも 飾った愛も
Kowashite kure nanimokamo kazatta ai mo 時の砂に消えるまで
Toki no suna ni kieru made
You say anything,
傷つけ合う言葉でも
Kizutsuke au kotoba de mo
Say anything,
断ち切れない心に
Tachikirenai kokoro ni
You say anything, just tell me all your sweet lies
Say anything,
演じきれない心に
Enjikirenai kokoro ni
Close your eyes and I'll kill you in the rain 綺麗に殺し合えば
Kirei ni koroshiaeba 造花の薔薇に埋もれた
Zouka no bara ni umoreta 詩人の涙は記憶に流されて
Shijin no namida wa kioku ni nagasarete
Time may change my life
But my heart remains the same to you
Time may change your heart
My love for you never changes
You say anything,
傷つけ合う言葉でも
Kizutsuke au kotoba de mo
Say anything,
断ち切れない心に
Tachikirenai kokoro ni
You say anything... say anything
Now you’ve gone away
Where can I go from here?
Say anything... say anything...
(*I believed if time passes, everything
turns into beauty.
If the rain stops, tears clean the scars of memory away.
Everything starts wearing fresh colors,
Every sound begins playing a heartfelt melody.
Jealousy embellishes a page of the epic
Desire is embraced in a dream,
But my mind is still in chaos, and...*)
X Japan mode
ako ngayon, so walang basagan ng trip. [Well, one of the reasons why I actually
maintain this blog is to be able to continue expressing myself without anyone
doing the “basag-trip” to me. Hahaha! Aside from the fact that a significant
part of the contents here are not intended for mass consumption (and by that I
mean full exposure to social media), nobody wants to read them anyway, so why am I explaining
myself?! HAHAHA!!!] So here I go again with my psychologically therapeutic,
occasional “Pandora’s Box”…
A returning
LSS: (X Japan’s) Toshi Deyama reminds me so much of (Sugarfree’s) Ebe Dancel –
a bit in looks and a bit in vocal prowess. They’re both very talented and
brilliant. Magaling talaga. Yoshiki Hayashi on the other hand reminds me of a
college classmate with a striking resemblance, who coincidentally now lives in
Japan as a professional photographer!
The acoustics
of the venue is amazing. The audience is very quiet, perhaps savoring the live unplugged,
sad but sweet-sounding “lullaby-ish” performance. It would have been perfect if
not for someone snorting and some faint coughing.
"WITHOUT YOU" by X JAPAN (Toshi & Yoshiki acoustic version)
歩き疲れた夜にたたずむ
Aruki tsukareta yoru ni tatazumu 流れる涙を記憶に重ねて
Nagareru namida wo kioku ni kasanete 出会いの数だけ別れはあるけど
Deai no kazu dake wakare wa arukedo 限りない時が続くと信じてた
Kagirinai toki ga tsuzuku to shinjiteta
傷つけ合った言葉さえ今は抱きしめ
Kizutsuke atta kotoba sae ima wa dakishime 振り返るだけ
Furikaeru dake
I feel alone…
How, how should I love you? How could I feel you… Without you?
数え切れない思い出が時間を埋めつくす Kazoekire nai omoide ga jikan wo umetsukusu
同じ時代に生まれて出会った
Onaji jidai ni umarete deatta それぞれの愛を確かめるために
Sorezore no ai wo tashikameru tame ni
I still remember…
答えのない明日に
Kotae no nai ashita ni
夢を求めていた日々を
Yume wo motomete ita hibi wo
How, how should I love you? How could I feel you… Without you?
“Endless Rain” is one of my favorite songs from the band X Japan, along with “Longing”, “Say Anything” and “Without You”. This emotional live music video was recorded right before the breakup of the group. It was their last concert date entitled, "The Last Live". You may notice that the band members each had their moments, weeping. The audience sang along, also in a capella, towards the end of the tune. X Japan has done this a few times in the past, as a rest for accompaniment, playing a sober ballad to wrap up a night of music. But the audience kept on singing even after the band had finished performing and had already left the stage one by one, and even further after this particular video itself was cut. In the full concert video, they had to start playing the intro of the next song to make them stop. It was as if they wanted their music to keep on playing, even without them together. With this kind of symbolic farewell from the fans, it was either some of them were forcing slightly stoic faces / blank expressions on themselves or trying hard not to burst and break down in tears. Yoshiki can be seen sadly bowing to the crowd after he played piano live, as a part of the complete roster of X Japan, one final time. Tragically, soon after the concert tour, their guitarist, Hideto Matsumoto or “Hide” to friends and fans (the one in the flamboyant neon suit and pink hair), died. This was his last live performance as a member of the band.
I don’t know if the Japanese characters would appear in the lyrics below, some software applications have difficulty showing them. But I also inscribed how they sound like, spelled in the English alphabet. As one fan put it: “You don't need to know the language. Music is the universal language.”
“ENDLESS RAIN” by X JAPAN
I'm walking in the rain
行くあてもなく 傷ついた身体濡らし
yuku ate mo naku kizutsuita karada nurashi
絡みつく凍りのざわめき
karamitsuku koori no zawameki
殺しつづけて 彷徨う いつまでも
koroshi tsuzukete samayou itsu made mo
Until I can forget your love
眠りは麻藥
nemuri wa mayaku tohou ni kureta
途方にくた 心を靜かに溶かす
kokoro o shizuka ni tokasu
舞い上かる 愛を踊らせて
mai agaru ai o odorasete
ふるえる身体を記憶の薔薇いつつむ
furueru karada o kioku no bara-a ni tsutsumu
I keep my love for you to myself
Endless rain, fall on my heart
心の傷に
kokoro no kizu ni
Let me forget all of the hate, all of the sadness
(*Days of joy, days of sadness, slowly pass me by As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me
You're just an illusion
When I awaken, my tears have dried in the sand of sleep
I'm a rose blooming in the desert*)
It's a dream, I'm in love with you
まどろみ抱きしぬて
madoromi dakishimete
Endless rain, fall on my heart
心の傷に
kokoro no kizu ni
Let me forget all of the hate, all of the sadness
I wake from my dream
I can't find my way without you
The dream is over
聲にならない 言葉を繰り返しても
koe ni naranai kotoba o kurikaeshite mo
高すぎる 灰色の壁は
takasugiru hai iro no kabe wasugi satta hi no
過ぎ去った日の思いを夢に寫す
omoi o yume-e ni utsusu
Until I can forget your love
Endless rain, fall on my heart
心の傷に
kokoro no kizu ni
Let me forget all of the hate, all of the sadness
Endless rain, let me stay
evermore in your heart
Let my heart take in your tears, take in your memories
“Sir Jase, your work doesn’t involve
much talking, does it?”
“Well sometimes it does. But mostly when I’m alone at the office, I’m just quietly working. HECK,
SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN I’M NOT ALONE, I DON’T TALK AT ALL WHEN I AM NOT ADDRESSED.
HAHAHA!!! Why do you ask, Doc?”
“Frequent movement of the jaw (NOT NECESSARILY EATING A LOT) helps in the production of more saliva which then
contributes to your overall oral health. Conversing regularly or chewing bubble gum
replicates this. In chewing bubble gum, some minute leftovers will stick to it, hence lesser bacteria inside your mouth when you spit it out. As long as you rinse with
your prescription mouthwash before and after, your teeth will be fine.”
(I thought,
“SERIOUSLY? It’s my first time to hear something like that from someone of his profession. It's as if he's encouraging me to chew gum. Oh well, he must
know what he’s saying. He’s a dentist, anyway. And he’s always been right for
several years now.”)
“OK doc.”
--This
has nothing to do with my dental appointment, but I realized
that for the past four and a half years, I learned to shut my mouth and just
observe more. Partly thanks to ‘failure’ and humiliation, three times over. I
choose to be silent in certain company because my mere presence makes them
uncomfortable, even if I’m very happy to see them. Less or no talk from me
means less suffering for them. Chapped lips are a positive thing for me, after
all.
But I really have
to say, after months of use, I still find the mouthwash quite expensive Doc. And it still stings. L
