Miyerkules, Disyembre 30, 2020

YEAR-END THOUGHTS

Basta sana huwag ka nyang lolokohin. Sana wala syang "pinapatunayan lang". Kung sya ang makakatulong sa paglilingkod mo, sana maging maligaya kayo.

I remember it so vividly: "Pareho ba kayo ng NAIL POLISH?"-Big Brother Start pa lang, may idea na. If others are aware about it, I hope you're not blinded. You were so sarcastic about it like you needed to hurt me. Congratulations. Believe it or not, I still want you to be happy.

Martes, Disyembre 29, 2020

VALLEY OF CHROME - Pangako (MYX Live! Performance)


Nung una, natawa talaga ako sa kantang 'to. Ngayon LSS ko na. Buset. Parang baliw at basag-ulo ang tunog, pero hopeful love song lang pala.

Huwebes, Disyembre 24, 2020

DECEMBER 24, 2020

Napanaginipan na naman kita.

High school daw uli kami ng mga close friends natin. Nakakatawa kasi yung isang kaibigan natin, professor din na English-speaking pa. Pikon na pikon sa aming tatlo na “iskul bukol”. HAHAHA!!!

Ikaw, batang professor ka daw namin. ‘Fresh passer’ sa licensure daw. Ang ganda mo. At ang cute pa, kasi naka-maong jumper ka with white shoes. May exam kang ibinigay kaya pagdating mo, nanahimik na kaming lahat para sa test; tapos ikaw, umupo ka sa teacher’s desk at nagbasa ng libro.

Una akong natapos sa exam. Lumapit ako sa ‘yo tapos binigay yung papel habang sinasabing, “Mahal na mahal kita…” Tapos naalimpungatan na ako. Bitin na bitin, hindi ko na alam kung ano ang nangyari. Nakakainis. Sana maulit o matuloy. HAHAHA…

___

Bigla kong naalala yung teacher ko nung Grade 1 na crush na crush ko. Naalala ko rin yung time na pumunta tayo sa mall galing sa Alpha. Sinabi ko pa na kamukha mo si Miss Tapia ng Iskul Bukol nung pinost na sa social media. Sinagot mo ako ng: “At least sumaya ka.” Hehehe… Hayz.

Sa ganito ko na lang ilalahad (uli):


Gasgas na mga kataga

Sa ibang paraan, sasabihin ko pa rin,

kahit bitin:

Sana’y maging mas maligaya ka

Nandito lang ako palagi, at muli pa...


💗😊



Biyernes, Disyembre 18, 2020

simula pa nung una | sad version

Not entirely relatable but this is my LSS now...
I love the piano arrangement!

Hindi ako nawawalan ng pag-asa... senti trip lang.

Miyerkules, Disyembre 16, 2020

Patch Quiwa- Simula pa nung una (Original Song)

Ang cute naman. Maganda rin yung sad version, pero ayoko muna nun kasi sad nga,eh. Sad rin ang lyrics sa huli.

Like roads, all (love) stories have twists and turns to them... I hope mine is just lurking beyond the bend.

Lunes, Disyembre 14, 2020

Ben&Ben - Sa Susunod Na Habang Buhay | Official Music Video | Kathniel

"Sino yung nasa panaginip mo?"

"...ikaw."


Nakakaiyak talaga ang lyrics nito. 


May nanunukso uli sa akin ngayon (iba pa kaysa nakaraan), pero mabuti na lang pisikal lang ang pang-aakit nya. Isa pang babaeng bumabalik mula sa nakalipas... Salamat sa Dios, hindi ko na siya masyadong gusto.

Ikaw pa rin ang naiisip ko kahit parang hindi na puwede, nasasaktan ako kahit na wala akong karapatan. Sana lubos ka nang masaya ngayon. Sana huwag kang gamitin lang at lokohin ng katipan mo.


Ikaw pa rin naman ang pipiliin ko kung may pagkakataon, pero inaamin kong hindi ko rin alam kung hanggang kailan ko kayang mapanatiling ganito. Hindi na rin naman siguro mahalaga yun. Nandito lang ako, kung sakaling kailangan mo.
Ingatan at samahan ka nawa palagi... mahal kita.

Biyernes, Disyembre 11, 2020

Mayonnaise - Tayo Na Lang Dalawa (acoustic)

May nagsabi na sa akin na kamukha ko daw ang vocalist nito. At saka si Debold Sinas. Mga buset. HAHAHAHA!!!!


Gaano man "kayo" katotoo... nandito lang ako kung sakaling hindi mag-work out (o magkaalaman na). Salbahe. Bad, bad me!! HAHAHA!!! 😅😂🤣

Miyerkules, Disyembre 2, 2020

DECEMBER 2, 2020 THOUGHTS... (TWEETS)

Minsan talaga gusto kong huwag nang magising,eh. Pero gusto ko lang naman yun. Karamihan naman ng gusto ko sa buhay, hindi na nangyari. Salamat pa rin sa Dios.

Tinatamad na talaga ako... ayoko na. Nakaka-demoralize.

Sometimes, it's just hard to ignore the people ignoring us on purpose. At work and in our personal lives.

Naalala ko dati sinabi ni Ingkong na "Baka kaya pinagpahinga na siya ay para iiwas siya sa mga bagay na darating, na baka magpahirap lang lalo sa kanya at hindi na siya makapagtiis" (NOT VERBATIM). Ang sarap naman nun, ang galing talaga. Ito ang pag-asa natin.

Naiisip ko minsan na sana huwag nang humantong pa sa ganun, na dumating pa sa puntong magdilim na ang paningin ko. Huwag nawang mangyari. Sana mamatay na lang ako bago pa mangyari yun. May awa ang Dios...

Nararamdaman ko minsan bago ako matulog, na parang ako na lang talaga mag-isa sa buhay, kahit pa may mga tao pa sa paligid ko. Basta. Panalangin na lang talaga... Awa't tulong nandito pa naman. Sana paggising ko bukas (kung magigising pa) mawala na ang dapat mawala. Drama.

Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat
Folded hands

Nakakatampo talaga...

Yung mga kaibigan nating may kaarawan, binabati mo pa talaga sa pangalan sa Group Chat natin. Ako, never! Parang may issue ka pa rin sa akin... nagkaroon ka lang ng katipan, ganyan ka na. Samantalang kinausap mo rin naman na ako nuon sa GC. Nakakatampo talaga.

Lunes, Nobyembre 30, 2020

SLAPSHOCK – Luha (MYX Live! Performance)

If you look and listen closely to the lyrics, this song is actually about faith, hope and love. Not very evident by the way the music sounds, right? We sometimes make the mistake of judging things at face value, not knowing that they are much more beautiful than what they appear to be. After a few years, this song is now becoming my favorite from this band. It's sad that they can no longer play together. Ever.

Miyerkules, Nobyembre 25, 2020

"Langit" by Slapshock (Lyric Video)

Hay.... Jamir! 😭 Para sa akin, ito ang pinakamagandang kanta ninyo ng Slapshock. ❤

Sabado, Nobyembre 21, 2020

Dashboard Confessional - "Stolen"


For me, the title alone best describes you ('in my life') right now. The fact that you are not married yet is my only remaining hope. Whatever there is in the near future, I'll just be right here. I will always choose you. I love you. Always have and always will...


"STOLEN"

We watch the season pull up its own stage
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced
Another sun-soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

Invitation only grant farewells
Crash the best one of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy-eyed
Too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor, we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all will sleep well, sleep well
Sleep well, sleep well, sleep well

You have stolen my, 
You have stolen my
You have stolen my... heart!

I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one of the best ones
And we all look like we feel

You have stolen my, 
You have stolen my
You have stolen my... heart!

Sabado, Setyembre 26, 2020

"Huling Sandali", from "Tayo Sa Huling Buwan Ng Taon"



One of those indie movies enticing to watch because of the cinematography. TBA Studios ba naman,eh! Sometimes the lesser known actors are the better ones performing. Sometimes.

Nakakaiyak naman itong lyrics ng December Avenue... very much like their other songs, but still nice. From this soundtrack, I also like the acoustic version of Urbandub's "The Fight Is Over" by their vocalist Gabby Alipe.

I haven't watched it yet. About the title, sana nga may ganun. ☺️ Ang sarap naman nun! 😁
I never stopped loving you. I wish you knew that. 💗

Lunes, Setyembre 14, 2020

"Kung Wala Ka"

 
Sinabi rin naman nung una pa... naramdaman ko na ding parating na ito. Bakit ba kasi umasa pa? Sarili lang ang sinasaktan...

I know there's a silver lining somewhere...

Bakit? nag-perform naman sila sa Wish Bus, ha. We celebrate the artist, not their affiliation/s. Hehehe...

Biyernes, Hulyo 17, 2020

I’ll just be right here…


THE ABYSS… For me, probably one of the best science fiction movies of all time. It’s been a while since I last saw it. This was shown in theaters year 1989. I was so amazed by their ‘portable remote messaging technology’ at that time. I thought it would be very useful in real life. A decade later, SMS (Short Message Service) or “text messaging” as it came to be known, started to become widely and commonly used in the world of telecommunications.
___

I didn’t look or wait for her today, despite the anticipated pattern. I realized that even if I get to know her, she will always “fall on your shadow”— because her resemblance to you was the first (and maybe the only) thing I will ever get attracted to. That way, she’ll always be an alternative; only a second option. And nobody wants that for themselves.

I don’t know what the future holds, especially now; if I still have a chance with you, if perhaps you could reconsider, and more importantly if you’re still single in the first place, or why I’m even entertaining this feeling at all in this time of pandemic. All I know is that I still love you, however crazy it seems.

I have nowhere to go. I’ll just be right here… for you. IF you need me.



Miyerkules, Hunyo 10, 2020

Ben&Ben - Sa Susunod na Habang Buhay | Official Lyric Video

Ito na yata ang pinakamalungkot na kanta na narinig ko ngayong covid season. Naiiyak ako... 😥😪😭


Linggo, Mayo 31, 2020

Pre-GCQ Rant

“Na-trauma na ako nung nabundol ako ng tricycle tol. Ayoko ng motor. Kahit bike nga, ayoko na rin. Hindi ko makalimutan yung pakiramdam na tinahi yung anit ko (balat sa bungo), kahit nakahiga at nakapikit na ako nun, nasusuka pa rin ako. Yung nabaling buto ko, parang hindi nabalik sa dati. Tumutunog na kapag nag-uunat ako. May ‘bukol’ na yung buto, masakit kapag naiipit. Na-trauma ako kasi kahit minsan maingat tayo, may mga gagong motorista na humahawak ng manibela. Marahil lesson yun sa akin, pero ayoko na ng motor.”
My orthopaedic surgeon even maximized my health card at that time. But I just hate it now when people tell me to “buy a motorcycle or bike.”
Hindi lahat ng applicable sa iyo ay applicable sa akin. Iba-iba tayo. Ganun lang yun.

Sabado, Mayo 9, 2020

Hindi Ko Ipipilit

Parang nangyari na ‘to. Sa maraming paraan, totoo nga.

Nabago na ang pananaw ko at nasa sa buhay sa loob ng nakaraang sampung taon. Yung hangarin pa rin ang kaligayahan at kabutihan ng isang taong patuloy na bumibigo sa akin… masaya ako na natutunan ko yun. Bakit nga ba kasi ang kulit ko? HAHAHA!!! :-D Pero maganda pa rin ‘di ba? Kahit na pinagkamalian ko na nga ng maraming beses, hindi pa rin naman siguro nasayang yung sampung taon.

Huwag ka nang mag-alala… hindi na ako lalapit uli sa ‘yo sa anomang paraan. Kung sa maliit na bagay nga lang, hindi na kita malapitan,eh. Pasensya na talaga ha. At least makakamit mo na ang katahimikang inaasam mo. Yung “blocked” ako sa ‘yo, okey yan, ituloy mo yan. Pabor yan sa ating dalawa. Napatunayan ko na kasi— na umiiwas ka na talaga sa akin. Ang hirap kasi kapag mag-message pa ako sa ‘yo ng direkta, iba na talaga ang dating mo ngayon,eh. Kaya naglalabas na lang ako dito ng saloobin. At saka baka lalo ka pang mabuwiset sa akin! HAHAHA!!! :-D Palaban ka na masyado. Baka mainis pa ako. Parang nung nagkasagutan tayo last year sa fb messenger. Pati yung pananalita mo sa chat group sa dati nating kasamang presidente. Masyado kang maraming sinasabi. Sorry talaga. Pero mabuti pa ring nagpakumbaba ka nung huli. Isang ugali mo na hinahangaan ko hanggang ngayon. Ang payo ko sa ‘yo— hinay-hinay sa katarayan at kasungitan. Pare-pareho lang tayong nagtitiis.

Sa tingin ko, medyo malinaw naman ang pag-iisip ko sa panahong sinusulat ko ito… kahit na hindi ka maniwala sa akin, hindi ako galit sa ‘yo.

Humihingi uli ako ng tawad… sa lahat-lahat.

Miyerkules, Pebrero 12, 2020

Radiohead - Creep



"CREEP" by Radiohead

When you're here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel

Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In the beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

Oh-oh, oh-oh....

She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run rrruuunnn....
Rrruuunnn.....

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here....

Martes, Pebrero 11, 2020

:(

Days of joy, days of sadness, slowly pass me by
As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me
You're just an illusion
When I awaken, my tears have dried in the sand of sleep
I'm a rose blooming in the desert


It's a dream, I'm in love with you...


--"Endless Rain", X-Japan

Biyernes, Pebrero 7, 2020

THE GREATEST SHOWMAN - "THIS IS ME"

My favorite song from the movie. Although the music genre (modern pop musical-- I think) does not coincide with the timeline of the movie's story (Pre-Industrial Revolution-- I think), this is still a good film. Beautiful!


(I DO NOT OWN THE MUSIC VIDEO)

Defensive... why explain? HAHAHA!!!

It's out t(here), I know.

But as individuals, we all have our own ways of coping. Believe it or not, the human psyche needs an outlet of this sort... real or ‘imaginary’. We all (well, perhaps a number of us) want to believe we constantly have an audience, especially in our triumphs. It's hard when you can't open up and share your thoughts even to just a few because they're "out-of-reach" at the moment. The need to express, or to talk to somebody, is a continuing desire. That's one of the reasons why social media was invented in the first place. But this (blog) is not that kind of platform.

As I've said before, this right here... is "semi-private". No other names, except maybe mine. I don't even know for sure if I have actual readers. Or if I do, they may not even know me at all. I've severed all links from my public profile to this (and that other site); cut to avoid unwanted attention. So if you're reading this and you're not me, welcome to the select few. HAHAHA!!! This is my way of self-expression and therapy. (Like thinking aloud or speaking one’s mind, comparatively.)

Personally speaking, I become restless when I bottle up my feelings, especially strong ones. To deal with these kinds of suppression, others do sports; write poems/stories; hunt game (rare in our country) or worse, drink booze (and make a mess of themselves). This is my version of that. If a conversation isn't happening because the person/situation does not allow it, how does one go about that?

If I'm elated, I can't help but show; if I'm sad, maybe I'll amuse myself. So there is still an element of confidentiality. Hahaha… But I don't spill the beans on others’ important secrets here. Only my own self-admission of flaws. It's more like inaudibly talking to myself while directing the subject to an (un-/well-)known recipient. So let them laugh if they think it's silly. They’ve got their own (socially-awkward) imperfections to deal with, anyway. I’ll laugh back at them. HAHAHA!!!

I know… that’s a lot of parentheses. HAHAHA!!!


This is me.

Huwebes, Pebrero 6, 2020

Queensryche - Silent Lucidity (Official Music Video)



"SILENT LUCIDITY" by Queensryche

Hush now, don't you cry,
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye.
You're lying safe in bed,
It was all a bad dream spinning in your head.


Your mind tricked you to feel the pain,
Of someone close to you leaving the game (of life).
So here it is, another chance, wide awake you face the day.
The dream is over... or has it just begun?


There's a place I like to hide,
A doorway that I run through in the night


Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize, and you were scared.
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears
Retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind.


Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see this magic new dimension
I... will be watching over you
I... am gonna help to see you through
I... will protect you in the night
I... am smiling next to you
In silent lucidity



Visualise your dream,
Record it in the present tense,
Put it into a permanent form,
If you persist in your efforts,
You can achieve dream control...
...dream control...
...dream control...
...dream control...
...dream control... (help me)
...dream control...


(help me)

If you open your mind for me,
You won't rely on open eyes to see.
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down and a new world will begin.
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly.


A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize your dream's alive?
You can be the guide, but
I... will be watching over you
I... am gonna help to see you through
I... will protect you in the night (I...)


I'm smiling next to you...

Biyernes, Enero 24, 2020

Lifehouse - Take Me Away

Woke up this morning with this tune in my head. The first stanza alone says it all. No direct proof of anything, but I’m very happy and inspired.



“TAKE ME AWAY” by Lifehouse

This time
All I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place

This time
You burn me with your eyes
You see past all the lies
You take it all away

I've seen it all
And it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

I try to make my way to you
But still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do

I've seen it all
And it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

Don't give up on me yet
Don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
But don't let me stay here alone


This time
All I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place

I've seen enough
And it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away...

Martes, Enero 14, 2020

Miyerkules, Enero 8, 2020

I don't trust my feelings anymore. Experience taught me that.

Ang galing talaga ng GMK, kahapon ko pa naiisip ito, naunahan pa rin ako mag-post. Hehehe...