DECEMBER 25, 2018

“I knew you’d come back when I already have someone else waiting for me.” Those were the words I saw on your social media public post.

It looked so vivid that I actually thought it was real when I woke up. I felt you would probably totally block me again; I AM partially blocked in reality, anyway. (Well, actually just partially blocked in 1 account and virtually blocked in all remaining social network accounts.) I know that for a fact. BUT IT IS INDEED YOUR RIGHT TO DO SO. I tried to check and look at what I COULD see, and realized it was just a dream. Or was it?

Yes… after a long time, I dreamt of you again. Exactly on the day I swore I will start forgetting. I should have known that being (one of) the first to greet you would have psychological repercussions!

I’m not sure I understand what it means, or if it ever was meant for me in the first place. But I had a strong feeling: that I’ve been defeated, probably a very long time ago. From the looks of it, maybe things won’t change back to the way they were before. Maybe we’ll keep avoiding each other until one of us settles down. I tried to start communicating with you but I could only go so far as a casual birthday greeting on a message board of our common friends. I know you won’t talk to me privately anymore… besides, why would you need that? I keep thinking the suplada/mataray/antipatika you would answer back at me. Sorry, that’s what you always made me feel ever since my confession. I just don’t want to “dislike” you further for that. Naiinis na talaga ako sa 'yo minsan! And maybe that's a "good" thing.

Oasis - Don't Go Away

My current LSS.

( I do not own the video)

Although there are many things to be happy about, I've been feeling quite sad for more than a week now. I don't know why...

:-(


DON'T GO AWAY by Oasis

Cold and frosty morning, there's not a lot to say 
About the things caught in my mind
And as the day was dawning, my plane flew away
With all the things caught in my mind

I don't wanna be there when you're coming down 
I don't wanna be there when you hit the ground

So don't go away 
Say what you say
Say that you'll stay
Forever and a day, in the time of my life
'Cause I need more time
Yes, I need more time just to make things right

Damn my situation and the games I have to play
With all the things caught in my mind
Damn my education, I can't find the words to say
With all the things caught in my mind

I don't wanna be there when you're coming down 
I don't wanna be there when you hit the ground

So don't go away 
Say what you say
Say that you'll stay
Forever and a day, in the time of my life
'Cause I need more time
Yes, I need more time just to make things right

Me and you, what's going on?

All we seem to know is how to show the feelings that are wrong...


So don't go away 
Say what you say
Say that you'll stay
Forever and a day, in the time of my life
'Cause I need more time
Yes, I need more time just to make things right

And don't go away
Say what you say
Say that you'll stay
Forever and a day, in the time of my life
'Cause I need more time
Yes, I need more time just to make things right 
Yes, I need more time just to make things right 
Yes, I need more time just to make things right 

So don't go away....

THE DOOZERS INFLUENCED ME TO CARRY ON. HAHAHA!!!

Jim Henson was a genius, along with his colleagues at The Jim Henson Company. They are the people behind Sesame Street, The Muppets (Marionette-Puppets, as they technically defined the fusion, which later became very popular) and my favorite, Fraggle Rock, among others. They were the puppeteers behind the creatures of “Labyrinth”, an 80s fantasy movie starring David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly. Numerous other collaborations were made with their “creature shop” in TV and movies alike.

If I remember it right, I used to watch Fraggle Rock every Saturday afternoon in the late 80s. I was very young then. It was not exactly educational like Sesame Street, but very entertaining and fascinating for me. The small characters are called The Doozers – probably the cutest of all Jim Henson’s creations: they are construction creatures who build transparent frames which in turn are eaten by larger entities (The Fraggles) roughly four times their size. And then there are even larger creatures than the Fraggles outside their caves, kind of a “food chain” hierarchy. HAHAHA!!! I always wondered how the Doozers were controlled manually, because they were much smaller than the average-size hand puppet. And oftentimes their whole bodies were shown, giving little space to hide the hands that operated them. I loved the technology behind how they were manipulated when I found out! Very clever and sophisticated at that time. I dreamt of having sets – figures and vehicles, of remote-controlled toys like them. Hehehe…

(i do not own the video)

I originally wanted to be a civil engineer. The Doozers were partly influential to spark my interest in engineering; but when I discovered how extensive algebra and physics were involved in the study of its different fields, I turned my attention to the next best thing, Architecture. Not that it’s literally second best, this field is similar (tackling both design & construction) but has less number-crunching computations than civil engineering itself. In the real world, they virtually have the same liabilities, only varying in degrees. I eventually chose Architecture. Besides, I loved drawing in high school. I even created a foul-mouthed Filipino superheroes comicbook where I vented my frustrations. HAHAHA!!! I’d like to think of Architecture to be the “artistic side of engineering”, although many proud architects would dispute that it’s a totally separate field of knowledge.

Anyway, I went on to finish my tertiary education (Bachelor of Science Major in Architecture) but was unable to land a job directly applying the “art”. I pursued an occupation related to the craft instead = facilities administration (now more commonly known as property management), a phase that comes right after the design, planning and construction stages of building structures. We had a dedicated class for that in college, a subject I almost totally ignored. Now I hear that it’s a whole new course of seminars or a diploma program. Makes sense. In my eighteen-year career so far, I am still learning some stuff, but actually having more emphasis on “social engineering” now.

IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO HANDLE PEOPLE AT WORK. PERIOD. It’s not like we’re the Doozers who got along with each other quite easily. To be responsible and be accountable for the actions and mistakes of different attitudes, motivations, and even problems, one has to be flexible and versatile enough. We are not saying that we do not fail at all, we simply stand up again and push forward the best we can. Just like the Doozers who might have always been frustrated that their constructed frameworks constantly kept getting eaten, they carried on anyway. (What an immature analogy!! HAHAHA!!!)

The past two weeks have been disheartening for me at work. And even so, I’ve been informed that there will still be incoming problems in the days ahead. This is not permanent anyway, otherwise it’s time to look for a job somewhere else. But wherever we go, we are bound to encounter problems along the way, whether we like it or not. Maybe this is only a “lunatic interval” of sorts. I just remembered these cute characters. Their hard work being destroyed constantly and they’re still happily toiling.

We are fortunate enough to work with colleagues who regard rank over personality (tempers and all), as it always should be. In my case, count more than two dozen subordinates who I can directly instruct and reprimand, depending on the situation. But respect per se, is truly hard to earn. There was once a time when I was the youngest of all management staff in the building, they were looking for that “wisdom from experience” thing. And there are also some lazy types who are vindictive at times; they take it as a personal offense when you lecture them after a failure, especially safety issues, indirectly implying their laxity and incompetence. Pride can be the biggest beast in us. More than three dozen clients also add, with a regular dose of public relations and solutions to complaints to be applied. It’s a continuous derby of finding the right balance. So yes, it is tough. But so must we be. We push on despite the tiresome challenges. We compromise. It’s still better than having nothing. Work is still a blessing. I’m still generally happy. Thank God for that. J

Queen - 'Under Pressure' live @ The Montreal Forum, Quebec, Canada (Nov.24,'81)

Ang cute nito. The girl with the camera in front row looked so sweet and beautiful then; so starstruck. As one fan put it, "I really wish to find someone who (looks at) me in the same way the girl (at) 0:03 (looks at) Freddie". –Yeah, me too. Hihihi… She’s “immortalized on film” @ 0:03-0:08, actually. Gorgeous but still tender; not noisy like other members of the audience. Mahinhin pa rin ang reaksyon. So pretty. <3 <3 <3

http://www.queenonline.com/features/the-girl-in-the-audience-fan-feature-by-patrick-lemieux

(I DO NOT OWN THE VIDEO)

"UNDER PRESSURE" by Queen

Mm bum ba de

Um bum ba de

Um bum da da du da
Tuga dun tuga dun

Pressure… pushing down on me

Pressing down on you, no man ask for

Under pressure, that brings a building down

Splits a family in two

Puts people on streets

Bum ba ba bep

Ba ba bep

Dee day doh

Ee day doh… that's okay!

It's the terror of knowing

What this world is about

Watching some good friends

Screaming, “Let me out!”

Pray tomorrow gets me higher

Pressure on people, people on streets

Day day de...

Day da da da de

Trippin' around, kick my brains ‘round the floor

These are the days it never rains but it pours

Ee doh da dep

Ee doh da da dap

Ee doh dep

De dap

People on streets, dee da dee da dep

People on streets, dee da dee dat dee dat dee dat

It's the terror of knowing

What this world is about

Watching some good friends

Screaming, “Let me out!”

Pray tomorrow gets me higher, higher, high…

Pressure on people, people on streets

Turned away from it all like a blind man

Sat on a fence, but it don't work

Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn

Why… why… why?

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking

Can't we give ourselves one more chance?

Why can't we give love that one more chance?

Why can't we give love, give love, give love, give love

Give love, give love, give love, give love?

'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word

And love dares you to care for

The people on the edge of the night

And love dares you to change our way of

Caring about ourselves,

This is our last dance
This is our last dance

This is ourselves

Under pressure

Under pressure

Pressure…

December Avenue feat. Moira Dela Torre - Kung 'Di Rin Lang Ikaw (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

I used to want this kind of love when I was a kid, despite the fact that we had a lack of same-age-group-girl-neighbors. The music video is quite honest. Closer to truth. Even though your neighbors themselves root for you two, the childhood-sweethearts/besties-turned-real-life-lovers seldom happens. Simple but awesome storytelling. Marami na talagang magagaling na cinematographers ngayon. It's a good thing the casting director and/or producer/s are having less discrimination over plus-size (lead) actors with this one here. Keep it up! I just hope this opens up more doors for "unconventional-looking" but deserving actors, especially here in the Philippines. Makaka-relate lang ba ako dahil mataba yung lalaki? HAHAHA!!!

Grabe, fan na talaga ako ni Moira. HAHAHA!!! Although we know generally that pop culture love songs nowadays sound like more of the same thing over and over, we are still suckers for these (otherwise "relatable") concepts of frustration and failure.

This truly is the #hugot generation. HAHAHA!!!

I Miss Alcohol... Markers, That Is!

(I do not own the video)

I miss this. Old school but still cool.

(This guy isn’t really a famous expert – he just happens to have the skill and the social media channels).

I was never able to master the use of alcohol-based markers in college; they’re very expensive! I nevertheless loved utilizing the few that I had for shades & shadows, to give depth to rather 2-dimensional elevations and plans. Zig Kurecolor was the best brand then. Or is it still? Some of my classmates doodled with so much ease. Graphics proficiency truly is a talent! I enjoy just watching the transition progress. So mesmerizing. From a blank piece of paper to a “playful” representation of something built / to-be-built. This kind of illustrating works especially for initial talks with a client. Some designers sketch ideas instantaneously right in front of the client.

I gave up trying to be a full-fledged architect more than a decade ago, after I failed the licensure examinations for the third time in a span of four years. It finally sunk in… it wasn’t meant to be. *sigh* L

“If you give up on it, maybe you don’t really want it enough!” – OR Maybe the effects of some of the things we want in life aren’t really good for us. NEED is different from WANT, after all…

Skid Row - I Remember You (Official Music Video)

Cheesy glam metal love song. The treble is very sharp to the ears. My childhood friends and I always laughed at how Sebastian Bach looked like a “beautiful” man. HAHAHAHA!!!!

(I DO NOT OWN THE VIDEO)

“I REMEMBER YOU” by Skid Row

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain,

The wind would whisper and I'd think of you.

And all the tears you cried that called my name.

And when you needed me, I came through…

I paint a picture of the days gone by,

When love went blind and you would make me see.

I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes,

So that I knew that you were there for me.

Time after time, you were there for me.

Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand.

Love letters in the sand… I remember you.

Through the sleepless nights, through every endless day,

I'd wanna hear you say, “I remember you”, Ooooohhhh…

We spent the summer with the top rolled down,

Wished ever after would be like this.

You said "I love you, babe" without a sound.

I said I'd give my life for just one kiss.

I'd live for your smile, and die for your kiss.

Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand.

Love letters in the sand… I remember you.

Through the sleepless nights, through every endless day.

I'd wanna hear you say, ”I remember you”, ooohhh....

We've had our share of hard times,

But that's the price we paid.

And through it all, we kept the promise that we made.

I swear you'll never be lonely.

Oooohhhh….

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain,

Washed away a dream of you.

But nothing else could ever take you away.

'Cause you'll always be my dream come true,

Oh my darling, I love you!

Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand.

Love letters in the sand… I remember you.

Through the sleepless nights, through every endless day.

I'd wanna hear you say, “I remember you”.

Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand.

Love letters in the sand… I remember you.

Throughout the sleepless nights, through every endless day.

I'd wanna hear you say, “I remember, I remember you”

Oooohhhh uuuuhhhh…. yeah! Wooooaaahhh, yeah…